February 22nd, 2010
Lori Gottlieb caused a bit of a storm back in 2007 with her article suggesting that women should settle for a man who is ‘good enough’ rather than holding out for Mr Perfect who may never show up. Not content with this she is now publishing a book which she says will back up her ideas.
Whilst I sympathise to a certain extent with her views, I do have problems with some of the statistics she quotes. She claims that “less than half of women over 40 will ever marry.” Conveniently she makes no mention of how many of these women actually want to get married, she simply uses this statistic to scare women into thinking they are a lost cause. Incidentally, The Times, commenting on figures published by the Office for National Statistics for England and Wales, makes a similar error. Proudly proclaiming that women are going to be overwhelmed by offers as there are now more single men than women in every age group except the over 75’s. Again they do not consider how many actually want to get married. The definition of single as “never married, divorced or widowed” is also a problem. How many are in happy, stable long term relationships? The old adage ‘Lies, dammed Lies and Statistics’ springs to mind. Numbers are great when trying to understand trends but you have to be very careful how you use them.
Back to Lori Gottlieb, she puts forward the view that feminism has encouraged women to think that they can have it all – the perfect man, lifestyle, family and career. In some ways she is right about this. There is not really a whole lot wrong with setting yourself high goals and aspirations. However you do need to be able to be flexible whilst trying to attain them.
Remember to give yourself a good pat on the back when you land on the moon even if you were aiming for the stars.
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November 11th, 2009
Last Friday we held the second of our now regular informal meet and mingle events. Around thirty members of Classical Partners met up for drinks and nibbles after work and of course to take the opportunity to meet other like minded people both for the first time and to catch up with old friends.
The informality of these events is proving very popular and will be continued in January.
As I left, I noticed that one couple who had met for the first time, were obviously enjoying each others company. Have they found romance? We will keep you updated.
If you would like to meet other music lovers have a look at our website.
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September 29th, 2009
Last weekend a group of
Classical Partners spent the weekend enjoying the delights of the charming medieval town of Pézenas in Southern France.
Leaving behind the inevitable queues of catching a flight at Gatwick, we came out into the warm sunshine in Montpellier to be greeted by our coach driver for the short transfer to Pézenas.
The Hotel Genieys in Pézenas is located just a stroll from the historic town centre and has all the charm of a French provincial 2* hotel. Clean and comfortable with the obligatory suspect plumbing which it has to be said performed faultlessly all weekend if somewhat noisily. After checking in, since we did not have our first gastronomic spectacular booked until 8.00pm, it was time to explore! Some headed for the cafes in the square, with the somewhat weak excuse that they wanted to have a look at the statue of Moliere. Others set off to explore the labyrinthine medieval streets of Pézenas.
Later that evening we set off for our first gourmet experience at Restaurant L’entre pots. From the outside it looked like nothing special, but once inside it was fabulous. We had a big room to ourselves and the walls were decorated with pictures by local artist Filipo whose studio we visited the next day. The food was exceptional; I particularly enjoyed the Pavé de thon accompanied by a fine local Chardonnay.
On Saturday morning Pézenas hosts a superb market. As you would expect there are stalls for every type of local produce imaginable as well as clothes. There were also street musicians and someone with a miniature pot-bellied pig on a lead.
After a couple of hours enjoying the market, it was back on the coach to visit the Domaine de l’Arjolle for a wine tasting and lunch. We were met by the Proprietor Mr Teisserenc outside next to the Chateau de Margon where he showed us his fermenting vessels. Then we moved on to the vineyards to see the vines and taste some Merlot grapes that were due to be picked in a day or two. They were so sweet and plump, Mr Teisserenc thinks 2009 will be a very good year. Anne’s car fell in a ditch so we had to push it out and we had not even started the wine tasting! Then it was back to the cave for the tasting. We tried five different single grape wines accompanied by local charcuteries made by our chef for the day. He also produced a selection of hors d’oeuvres to enjoy on the terrace with Mr Teisserenc’s sparkling methode champenoise. Everyone’s favourite was the miniature Crème brûlée with foie gras. Our caterer then barbecued some scrumptious lamb steaks. What a great way to spend a Saturday morning. Interesting wines, good food, good company in a superb location.
We weren’t finished yet. That evening we had another spectacular meal booked back in Pézenas at the Après le Déluge. We sat on the terrace surrounded by greenery and enjoyed six courses again accompanied by several suitable local wines.
All the local arrangements were made by Anne de Ravel who I can not praise highly enough. Should you want to find out about the cuisine of this area she can be contacted through her website http://www.saveurlanguedoc.com/
In the past, the highpoint of a Classical Partners visit to Europe has been an opera evening. This is the first time we have focused solely on food and wine – and judging by the response we may have to do this again!
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July 10th, 2009
Once you have decided what you want from a relationship the next step is to do something about it…. But what?
If you are not in a relationship and would like to be you have to confront the first of the big C words. Change. There is another C word that comes later on but we do not need to worry about that now. If you want to find a relationship you have to change something. If you continue with your day to day life exactly as you have for the last x years during which time you did not find someone, chances are you will still not find someone if you simply carry on as before.
Finding your perfect partner is a little bit like the Lottery. If you don’t own a ticket you haven’t got a chance of winning. If you buy a ticket at least you are in the game. So how do you get into the relationship “game”?
Consider changing your daily routine. If you take the bus instead of the usual train home you will meet a different set of people. Instead of watching an old movie on the TV try going to one in a cinema. It is up to you if you decide to engage with the new people you encounter. If you have a hobby that you are enthusiastic about, join a club and share that enthusiasm.
You might consider joining one of the numerous internet dating agencies. These definitely work for some people. But it’s a bit like buying a huge number of tickets for the Lottery; you will have to spend an awful lot of time checking your tickets to see if you have won. I have friends who have met this way, but I’ve also heard from many people that they could not get along with internet dating sites. My personal view is that relationships are personal things and the internet, for all its benefits, is not a personal medium. If you want to buy something or find some information the internet is the place to look. Perhaps that why it was known as the information superhighway? For personal relationships I’m not so sure.
There are also the dating sections of newspapers. Much like the internet, they do work for some people. You will need to give a lot of thought to the advertisement you place: it needs to stand out from the crowd but not make you sound too off the wall. You also need to understand the costs: you will have to pick up your replies by calling a premium rate phone line and the costs can mount up very quickly.
An alternative would be to join an introduction agency, but please do your research, there are some rogues out there. It’s a good idea to make sure any agency you approach is a member of ABIA (Association of British Introduction Agencies), have a look at their website http://www.abia.org.uk/ or give them a ring on 020 8742 0386. They have a listing of members along with the services offered and the costs. Make sure you choose one that is right for you. Obviously there is no point in joining an agency that specialises in an area that is of little interest to you. Another thing to remember is that “traditional” agencies work in a very different way to the internet based ones. From the internet you are likely to receive hundreds of (un-vetted) contacts and it is up to you to go through them. A traditional agency on the other hand will take into consideration all the information you have supplied to them and select someone from their membership who they think you would really like to meet. This is why it is so important for you to know what you want before you start. It is a slower and more focused approach.
I am of course biased, as I run Classical Partners, a traditional agency, but I have tried to offer honest view of the different options you have based on my experience of speaking to and meeting many unattached men and women looking for love. Not surprisingly, there is no single right way to go about finding a relationship. The solution very much depends on you. This is the main thing you have to understand, whichever way you choose to go about it the outcome depends on your actions. So confront the C word: be positive, enjoy yourself and you will make progress. Good luck.
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