February 8th, 2010
Apparently, Harriet Harman wants to engineer a new social order with her equality bill. On the face of it this is fine in principle. After all nobody should be discriminated against on the basis of their sex, colour, creed or any other aspect of their person. However, some groups believe that the bill interferes with their freedom. The Pope in particular is up in arms. It seems to me the real problem here is that legislation is not the answer. People just don’t respond to being forced into a corner. In addition there is the problem of unforeseen outcomes.
Recently there has been a lot written in the press about women who are increasingly finding that feminist ideas and legislation are actually holding them back rather than helping them as they were intended to. Feminism was supposed to liberate women and allow them to make all the choices in their lives on their own merits. However they are now finding that sometimes this ideal itself actually has the opposite effect. It is now illegal to ask a women in a job interview if she plans to have a family. Fair enough, but employers know this so don’t ask and women who have no intention of having a family do not get the chance to say so and the employer hires the man as it is less risky for them.
All forms of equality legislation almost by definition have a flip side that encourages positive discrimination. The obvious end-point of positive discrimination is mediocrity and I for one do not want to live in a mediocre world.
What has this got to do with Classical Partners, well, we sometimes meet people with pre-concieved ideas which are getting in their way of finding what they want. These pre-concieved ideas are their prejudices and there is no way we can legislate against them. What we can try and do is educate them to find a better way.
I think it is exactly the same with the proposed equality bill. Learn from the mistakes of feminism and instead of legislating try educating.
Posted in Relationships, Society | No Comments »
January 27th, 2010
It seems to me that society has decided that everything should be free. As usual the internet is leading the way. I did a little bit of admittedly not very scientific research. If you type the word “free” into my favourite search engine it produces 2,850 million results. I tried various other words like cheap, music, best, insurance and dating. All things that the internet does very well. None of them came even close in terms of the number of results.
Where is this obsession with free things going to lead us? I worry that it will mean that everything will tend towards the lowest state. I want a pen to write with. If I had bought it for what I considered to be a fair price, I would be miffed if it did not work, I might even take it back and ask for another one. If it was free what can I do? Is it the same with other free things?
You hear a lot about how illegal downloading is killing music. This is something I do not do. Too many of my friends and relations make their living from music. I used to think that illegally downloaded music would lead to people saying, I like that, and then going out and buying more. A bit like hearing something on the radio and then going out and buying it. Now I am not so sure. So much music is now downloaded illegally that only the megastars make any money out of their music and the industry as a whole can not afford to publish and promote new artists. In a few years time will the only music that is available be the megastars and people recording things in their back rooms? Next time you are at a concert and the person next to you is recording it on their mobile phone have a think about that.
The next big thing apparently is ebooks. How good is that? You want to read a book, you download it you read it, everyone is happy…but how long will bookshops last? Will illegal downloading become a problem? Will new authors be able to get published? Or will we only be able to get hold of old classics and the latest Dan Brown?
The free explosion must have its limitations and we should be very careful of the knock on effects. What is wrong with paying a fair price and letting someone earn a living from their expertise?
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »
January 19th, 2010
Most of us know this rule. It applies to all sorts of things and is irrefutable in the realm of science. The converse is also true, try putting the north poles of two magnets together. It just can’t be done. Does it apply to human relationships?
Unfortunately humans are not so cut and dried as magnets. It is not easy to categorise them.
People in successful relationships often say “my partner complements me”? When somebody says this do they mean they fill in the bits where I do not have expertise, so opposites do attract, or is it that their lives completely overlap, in other words Birds of a feather!
The important thing is what type of opposites are involved. You can easily see that someone who is happiest getting things done might get on very well with someone who has lots of ideas. In the first instance some common ground is required. In most cases this is likely to be a shared interest. However as a relationship develops, I believe it is beneficial for the people involved to have some differences. This allows them to have their own space within the relationship which is necessary for both partners to grow.
For any relationship to flourish it requires both people to work at it. If you can respect and tolerate – even appreciate – the differences you can use this to build a happy and fulfilling relationship.
Posted in Relationships | No Comments »
January 6th, 2010
Well, it is the start of a New Year and a New Decade. So, as the snow lies on the ground and causes the usual chaos, many people are considering making a fresh start.
What better way to start than by finding someone to share your life with. There is no doubt that people are social animals. If you pop in to your local supermarket you are constantly reminded of this: there are hordes of buy one get one free offers but very few aimed at just for one. We all feel better if we have someone to confide in. There has been a lot written recently about loneliness and how the phenomenal growth of computer based networks of friends has given the impression that we are more connected than ever before. However, there is nothing like the real thing. You need to be in the same physical place to really interact. It is wonderful that you can chat to a friend on Facebook or Twitter, but it is much more rewarding to meet them face to face.
Bringing people together is what we at Classical Partners are all about. There are places on the web where people who love classical music and the arts can share their thoughts, I do this from time to time, but as I have said before, it is not a patch on going to a concert or film with like-minded people and really sharing the experience.
So if you are reading this and thinking you would like to meet some music lovers… give us a ring and start the ball rolling.
Posted in Relationships, classical music, meet others | No Comments »
November 27th, 2009
The Telegraph recently reported on some interesting findings from a survey commissioned by their Sunday magazine, Stella, into dating trends. The You Gov survey, which interviewed almost 2,000 men and women of all ages and backgrounds, concluded that a “revolution in British dating habits means more of us than ever before are waiting until our 30s to get married – and more of us are divorcing in our 60s and beyond – meaning that our dating years are extending at both ends of the spectrum”.
The survey found that over 55s were the most active daters, not those in their 20s or 30s as you might expect. Of those interviewed 60% of men and women over 55 had joined a dating organisation, compared to just 20% of 18-24 year olds and almost as many men as women said the main reason was to find a long-term relationship.
Another slightly surprising finding, if you believe the stereotypical view that men are more influenced by looks than women, was that 91% of the men surveyed rated a sense of humour as the most important trait they were looking for in a woman and 85% rated intelligence equal second most important, along with attractiveness. Women rated not just sense of humour and intelligence, but also shared values and sexual compatibility as being more important than attractiveness in men.
The survey also found that, despite the fact that women these days are more likely earn as much if not more than men, 92% of women said that the man paid for their last date. So it would seem that when it comes to dating the old fashioned rules of chivalry still apply: women like the man to pay and men are happy to do so.
Also perhaps surprisingly, given the current economic recession, 79% of men said they would expect to spend more or the same amount on a date now as this time last year (October 2008), only 9% saying they would spend less.
Although this particular survey was a relatively small scale one, here at Classical Partners we are seeing that men and women of all ages are keen to explore different ways of meeting new people, and we try to help our clients to do this by way of regular and varied social events and carefully arranged introductions. See Events.
Posted in Datng trends | No Comments »
